Now, I know that the country is not a bit like it used to be in the 50s, when all your neighbours knew each other, and looked out for your kids, and helped you give birth (oh, wait, that's Call the Midwife, isn't it?), but even I wasn't prepped for Maiden
Considering 6 years ago, we lived on a street that came out when they saw us pull up in a cab when I'd had Mini to say hello and wish us well, and the street round the corner had regularly used any minor excuse (football matches, Live 8, Big Brother ending, Halloween, New Year, snow, fireworks night) to throw a street party, we kind of thought Maidenhead would be like an upmarket version, with cheese and wine soirées in other locals gaffs. (Not swinging parties like Elder suggested. That never crossed our mind).
But, we were totally wrong. Barely anyone speaks to you, not even to give a hello in the morning. Only five of our current neighbours have ever said a word to us. And one of those was due to his cat doing a bunk.
Even I was baffled and slightly amused by the letter we got about us to our Craplord today though. It was addressed just to our house, so I opened it.
Here it is, I'll let you read and then enlighten you further (click it, it'll go huge)
|I absolutely love his name. I know its his actual name, but you can't fail to love the comedy value of that being his name, right?|
He has never, ever spoken to us. He clearly doesn't use the gate or he'd know it wasn't locked. His own gate is blocked by his overgrowing trees. Our other neighbours have no probs us having it.
After knocking, and him
I am the current tenant of .............and write regards your letter.I would question your comment that you have spoken to the other residents you quote, considering a) you couldn't be bothered to just speak to us directly, and b) we regularly speak to the owners of ....-...... and ..... and none of them have ever voiced an issue regards the gate. With regards ..........and ......... .and .......... and her husband, all use the gate with no issue- ........... and ........... son using the gate daily in the holidays before the current inclement weather to remove his bike and .......... when she has had need to use the back entrance. We don't have an issue with anyone using the gate/alley at all, and frankly, your ignorance of us is the root cause of this absolutely pointless letter about a non-issue.The fence panels were removed long before we moved in, when (Our house) were one single dwelling occupied by our Landlord and his family. I am aware other's have asked for a fence to be erected and got nowhere- as have we.The gate has never, ever had a lock on it, which you would know if you actually had the decency to speak to us directly, rather than assuming it did. It also hasn't been shut at all since around October.We placed-at a cost to ourselves- the unlocked gate on the alleyway for two reasons. One to benefit our children, as being that they are 6 and 5 (3 and 2 when we moved in), we don't want to have a situation where they cannot use the garden for fear they would run out into the road. Clearly as someone who makes a health and safety issue out of a simple gate, you would understand that? Or does our children's safety count for nothing? We also were advised by two community officers prior to the gate being put up that ALL our homes were at risk of "Backyard Entry Burglaries", as had happened at other unsecured points on our street and ............... Road, not to mention shed breaks.As for "escape during a fire" unless you are expecting a massive explosion, I doubt any fire would be severe enough to warrant the need to run from your home 5 doors away to our garden. Which, on the slim chance that would happen you would be most welcome to do. I am hardly likely to spot you, shivering and in distress and ask you to leave, am I?To close, I will of course pass your concerns to my landlord, but would advise against holding your breath and him doing anything regards the gate, the fence or anything else. Our roof is leaking, our windows near to falling out, our staircase needs replacing and we have hot water when our boiler works. We have asked our landlord many times to fix these issues (which I'm sure you will agree are more concerning than your gate problem), to be ignored. We have now called in Environmental Health as a result.YoursClaire CurranPS The fact our Landlord plans to knock our house into 6-8 self contained dwellings as soon as we leave will probably show you what a real cause for concern is. Good luck with that.
I've removed some bits and bobs like our address and neighbours names. But you get the idea.
I then told Elder in the car that the whole thing is laughable, as we have had the gate for yonks, and the thing that makes me laugh the most is that he mentions about if there was a fire he'd not be able to escape, 5 doors down, due to our gate.
Which, oh reader I know and am sorry, I am a massive child, made me think of, and subsequently draw, this:
Neighbours, who'd have 'em?
I wouldn't mind, but some of us (cough, me cough *props ceiling up with gaffer tape and superglues window to brickwork) have actual real problems. Not "nothing better to do than to cause ishoos with neighbours and about a three year old gate that doesn't sodding shut anyway and everyone else uses with no problems at all. Like normal people would do.
What an anally retentive tit, frankly.