*I'm writing this to link up to the "Letters to Matilda Mae" linky. Now, mine is slightly different, as I wanted to write to Jennie instead. I hope that's OK? The title, Its Only Words, comes from when I was trying to think what to say previously, and all I could think of was the Bee Gees song. *
I like to think, being a writer of sorts, that at any given moment I can find the right words.
Be it a snappy retort, a funny put down, a hearty congrats, or a thought provoking assessment of a situation, time or place, I am usually pretty a-ok at the right words to say no matter what.
Well, I thought I was.
Until I met you Jennie.
Over the past year, I have asked myself lots of questions. What do you say to someone who has suffered an unimaginable level of grief? What words can you summon to try and ease that feeling of regret, or guilt in someone who has lost something so precious?
I find it hard to believe that's its a year already.
As with many, I cannot even fathom what that feels like, I wouldn't even be able to come close.
In that year, Tilda has been a name which has raised money, awareness, had bloggers jumping from planes and blowing bubbles in the sky. At Christmas, every twinkling star was not just about the tree and the baubles we place in the attic save for one month a year- they twinkled for Tilda on Twitter, on blogs, on Instagram and in our hearts.
And that has all been down to you Jennie. You often voice that you have lost strength. I think you have so much strength, and it grows each day.
In that time, we have all tried to support you as best we can as a community. It has not been easy. There is no quick fix, no emotional or virtual scaffold to prop a person with.
I am far from the only one who admires you. Who finds you an inspiration. How many of us could face the darkest moment of our lives and throw our weight behind campaigns to stop it happening to others, all whilst feeling, I would imagine, as if we had been hit by an infinite amount of double decker buses?
Whilst we will all trend Tilda's name, while we will fund-raise, and Barn Dance, and Welly Walk. Whilst songs and purple colours still resonate, it is you who will be held up as the strongest kind of human being.
I just wanted to voice here how much love and support we want to provide, and that we will always be here, through dark days and when those clouds lift.
RIP Tilda, a truly special baby. And know that your Mummy is one of the best that there will ever be x